Forever? Nooo!
by Daioujou
Summary: Mafuyu is stuck with Kirie in the Hellmouth forever. Can he survive? Or will he go insane? small unfunny oneshot


Okay, so I was having a talk with my friend/fellow writer Kerrianne. Our topic drifted off to the Hellmouth (gate? We went on like that for a few seconds, but Im digressing) and how Mafuyu had to spend forever with Kirie. So I came up with a very small snippet and am deciding to expand on it. So I give you this little jewel. Also, this story might not be for the kiddies, as there will be a couple of sexual references and foul language in it. Not much, though. Also, something screwed up when I was trying to save the file, so I had to fix all of this in Notepad.

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Why, of all the Shrine Maidens, of all the ghosts, of all the people in Himuro Mansion, did he have to stay with _her_. Mafuyu glared at the pale, beautiful Shrine Maiden with anger clearly in his eyes, his right cheek twitching a bit as he did so. Kirie looked at her "companion" curiously before turning back to the torn kimono she was tending to. 

When Mafuyu had first volunteered for the "stay with Kirie for all of eternity" thing he hadnt really minded. Then again, he hadnt really given it much thought. First of all, it was cold in the Hellmouth, _COLD. _Really cold. The forever frozen world of the Hellmouth was not friendly to its human resident. The thin over-shirt he was wearing along with the also thin pants and undershirt were not good clothes when you were adventuring through a cold spooky mansion. Then again, neither is a short kimono or a school uniform. _What was Miku thinking?_

There was another fact glaring Mafuyu right in the face. Not just glaring at him, this fact was metaphorically bitch-slapping him across the face with a paddle. This fact was simple: Mafuyu was a human. Kirie was a ghost. This made Mafuyu very unhappy as the two of them could not do things two humans, ...or ghosts, could do together. Despite the whole "Kirie can materialize and touch solid objects" thing. That takes souls. Kirie has no more souls. So all Mafuyu could do is scowl, and hide behind a large rock while Kirie was sleeping (which was not very often, mind you, as ghosts can stay up for very long periods of time.)

Here, the Family Master was always kind enough to lend a helping hand...No, not like _that_ you sickos! I mean therapy. Yeesh, I might as well just stop writing the story right here. Really, you are sorry? Okay, I forgive you. Though I cannot forgive the five of you who have minimized the story to write Mafuyu/Family Master fanfictions. That is just unforgivable.

It had been getting worse for poor Mafuyu, though. Like in their current session...

Mafuyu sighed, laying on the uncomfortable bed of rocks that was supposed to be the psychiatrist couch. "I just...I just feel so _trapped._ She keeps smuggling me! I never have a chance to get away! Did I mention the no sex?"

"Only two thousand nine hundred forty eight times but who is counting, really?" Family Master responded sarcastically, floating in the air pretending to be sitting.

"Its just so _horrible_! I mean, I could stand the freezing temperature, I could stand the uncomfortable floors, but of all things-"

"Remember that I am her father."

"Oh...right." Mafuyu shut up for a few minutes and the two sat in an awkward silence before Mafuyu stood up from the rock-couch. "I suppose I should be going now..."

"Goodbye, Mafuyu."

Mafuyu walked away silently and kind of freaked out.

Then there was the constant talking! There was almost never a moment in the day when Kirie did not have her mouth opening spilling out a fountain of words. It just never STOPPED. Dear God, it _never stopped_!

Mafuyu sat there, with his head in one of his hands, slumped over slightly. Listening to Kirie drone on and on with one of her stories. Who was it about? Blinded, was it?

"That was _my_ doll!" Kirie shouted angrily. "My doll, dammit! I was not just going to let her get away with taking _my _doll! So I went right up to her and told her, you know what I told her? I told her-"

Kirie was cut off, however, by the dark haired teen she was talking to getting up from his position and bashing his head on a large rock. He fell directly backwards across from the rock unconscious. Kirie went up to him cautiously, slightly afraid.

"Mafuyu? ...Mafuyu?" Kirie picked up a stick nearby and poked him with it a little. When she noticed he was not going to be up for a long while, Kirie turned her direction towards the large gate.

"So like I was telling Mafuyu, you know what I told-"

"Please _shut up_!" The gate screamed, its hinges swinging open haphazardly at the poor Shrine Maiden before collapsing to the cold ground.

Kirie, filled with dismay, looked around. There was nobody to talk to...

She looked around and saw a small mirror next to Mafuyu. She picked it up and began talking to herself.

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I know that this was unfunny, no need to remind me. I dont specialize in humor and am only funny when I dont try to be. Leave a comment anyways. No flames! 


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